Review all product here!

You Gotta Love their Consistency

My wife and I have been off-and-on fans of the History Channel’s Vikings and the BBC’s The Last Kingdom. Unless you are historically and sociologically clueless, you can’t miss the resemblance between these relentlessly violent and brutal characters and biker gangs. That infamous quality of men who will do any damn thing to get in their share of rape and pillage. Of course, modern Vikings pretend to be sensitive types with “feelings” with their “Pirate Parades for Kids” bullshit and occasional high-profile, half-assed attempts to humanize themselves by not killing a stranded family or helping an old lady across a street they’ve made unsafe with a pirate parade.

Of course they are for Trump. Like all kings and strongmen from the last 500 years, Trump is an inbred weakling who masquerades as an actual human being and who appeals to their absolute worst qualities, which are their predominant qualities. He promises “You’re gonna be so rich,” which is pretty much what every warlord has promised his soldiers since the first douchebag took up a club and marched off to battle other douchebags.

Yeah, I’m pissed off. I’ve avoided these morons my whole life. At this late date, I can’t hear the sound of a badly tuned, underpowered two-wheeled lawn tractor without looking for high ground and weapons. You’d think centuries of war and military incompetence would have bred these morons out of the species, but sometimes I suspect stupidity might be the core gene to humans. With all their homoerotic Village People posing, lifestyle, and Darwin Award-winning riding skills, you’d think they’d have vanished from the gene pool.

The Ed Sanders song, below, will make a perfect soundtrack for contemplating these characters.

REVIEW: Matthew Cash - Deadbeard

Genre: Horror
Publisher: Self Published
Publication Date: 4th June 2016
Pages: 42

REVIEWED BY NEV

A copy of DeadBeardwas sent to Confessions of a Reviewer by the author, Matthew Cash, in exchange for an honest review. This is said review. This book is self-published.

Another short from Matthew Cash that intrigued me to say the least. Why did the cover have an Indian Headdress with a beard on it? Is it really about beards? After enjoying Ankle Biters so much, review link at the bottom of the page by the way, I was looking forward to reading more of Mr Cash. He has a, how should I put it, unique style about his writing that I think could be very Marmite-ish until you get used to it. There is something there that I like. I’m just not sure what it is yet.

Maybe this one will help me get to the bottom of it.

Great Bald Eagle is not a Native American warrior. In fact, he lives in the UK. He got his name from his drugged up, hippie parents who knew no better. He also has a distinct appearance, being completely devoid of hair, anywhere on his body.

This angers him greatly and as he grows older, he starts to unleash his hatred of all things hairy and give in to his horrific fantasies about what he would like to do to people with beards.

Detective McMillan must do his best to stop DeadBeard, before he loses his own!
I know what you’re thinking right now; is this for real? Bear with me and you shall find out.

DeadBeard is a very troubled soul and an interesting lead character. You see some of the story through his eyes where he details his traumatic childhood and how he developed his hatred of hairy people. He really is a psychopath.

Detective McMillan sports his own huge ginger beard and is on the cusp of celebrating his Yearbeard. His wife, however, wants him to get rid of it due to the dangers that DeadBeard poses. He seems like a really decent fella. Dedicated to his job and always out to bring the bad guys to justice.

There are a few other characters involved that are equally hairy and lend their own unique sub stories to the plot.

That plot is simple. DeadBeard is a killer. McMillan is a cop. McMillan must stop DeadBeard. What isn’t simple about the plot and to be honest is truly unique, is the way in which DeadBeard goes about the killing. This is something that I have certainly not heard or seen before in any horror or serial killer book or film. This is a huge doff of the cap to Mr Cash for this one. The only worrying thing is how the hell he thought it up. Dark goings on in his mind me thinks.

This is a mixture of a thriller come horror story. It could be put into the slasher collective. It could be put into the serial killer collective. It could also be put into the extremely tongue in cheek horror slash killer collective and as I type this, it has finally hit me what it is I like about Matthew Cash’s writing.

That tongue seems to be firmly planted in his cheek throughout the stories. There is a certain element of dark humour which is always present but never totally bubbles to the surface. It is just enough to make you smirk while you are being sickened or scared by what you are reading. It never makes you outright belly laugh, but I reckon if the story was longer there would be a lot more opportunity for that.

If you like your horror a bit pulpy and a bit gory and certainly something that will make you cringe but smile at the same time, Mr Cash could be the writer for you.

To summarise: a serial killer / horror / humorously dark story that certainly offers a lot more than you may think from reading the synopsis.


General rating:

★★★★ getting there but still a bit bizarre.

Horror rating:

★★★★ yeah, it's creepy.


If you would like to help support Confessions of a Reviewer, then please consider using the links below to buy Deadbeard or any other books from Matthew. This not only supports me but also lets me know how many people actually like to buy books after reading my reviews.

Thanks.




Book Synopsis:

Great Bald Eagle may sound like a really cool name for a native American Indian and if he had have stayed, or even grew up in the settlements of his forefathers then things might have different. But time moved on, his forefathers spread about a bit and eventually Great Bald Eagle was born. GBE, Jeebee, to his friends, was raised by native Americans that were so far from their ancestry they barely knew anything about it apart from the fact that they used to call their kids noble heroic names such as Geronimo and Dances With Wolves. Jeebee came out bald, alopecia, so they thought they would give him a majestic name to help him rise heroically throughout his life. They were wrong.

Ever the brunt of jokes by everyone, within Jeebee grew a hatred for hair, and the money, imagery and importance it had gained over the millennia. People spent thousands of hours grooming, preening, washing, drying, straightening, curling. It was fine when it was mostly the ladies doing it but when this new wave of hipster surfaced, where man would spend even longer in front of the mirror with lotions and potions it burst something inside of that had lying dormant all his life. Jealousy.

With inspiration from his ancestral blood playing a heavy part, Great Bald Eagle, Jeebee to his friends, is going to make these hairy bastards pay.

The Wrath of the Mighty DeadBeard is about to befall beardkind.


CONFESSIONS REVIEWS MATTHEW CASH




Matthew Cash, or Matty-Bob Cash as he is known to most, was born and raised in in Suffolk; which is the setting for his forthcoming full length novel Pinprick which is due for publication with Knightswatch Press in 2016.

He has always written stories since he first learnt to write and most, although not all, tend to slip into the many layered murky depths of the Horror genre.

His influences, from his early reading, to present day are, to name but a select few; Roald Dahl, James Herbert, Clive Barker, Stephen King, Stephen Laws, and more recently he enjoys Adam Nevill, F.R Tallis, Michael Bray, William Meikle and Iain Rob Wright (who featured Matty-Bob in his famous A-Z of Horror title M is For Matty-Bob, plus Matthew wrote his own version of events which was included as a bonus).

He is a father of two and a husband of one.

And for more about Matthew, you can find him on social media:

FacebookTwitter - Goodreads - Amazon Page

SHOW-OFF AND TELL #35 - Duncan P Bradshaw - Hexagram

#35 in the Show-Off and tell feature finishes off the Duncan P Bradshaw week.

It’s Hexagram.

This is one that just arrived in the post one day. I hadn’t been asked previously to review it so it just arrived in the post one day. Don’t get me wrong, I am certainly not complaining about that fact. I love getting books to review from Duncan and The Sinister Horror Company and they know my door is always open to them. It’s just an extra special surprise when it comes through the door totally unexpected. It’s like Christmas for a ten-year-old every time this happens to me.

The purpose of this one tonight is purely and simply, to show you what you get when you order a book directly* from Duncan at the Sinister Horror Company. They come to you in the normal brown box or standard jiffy bag but it’s what’s inside that will make you feel like the most special person in the world.

When you open the box or jiffy bag, you will be greeted by your book, wrapped in black tissue paper with the Sinister Horror Company sticker holding it all together.

*this is when you order directly from the SHC website, not from Amazon.

It looks like this:




Normally included with the book you will get a couple of bookmarks. Normally a Sinister Horror Company one if it is an anthology or one from the individual author. You might be lucky and get a couple of cards or something else special that they are doing at the time. I have seen people get patches for their holey jeans as well!

One other thing that you can always be assured of is that the cover for the book you have just bought will be of the highest quality ever. These guys know exactly how to do it when it comes to attracting your eye and filling your brain and heart with total desire and a need to buy the book.

This is Hexagram:




Also once you get inside you will probably see a lovely signature and, depending on whose book it is, a funny drawing of some sort. Duncan especially has a knack for filling them with little doodles to keep you amused.

I have only one picture of the inside of Hexagram. If I included all of the pictures I wanted to, there would be about fifty. The fonts, the design, the layout, it is all perfect. You can see immediately the effort that these guys put into their books and they are a true pleasure to own.

Hexagram is out now. You really need to buy it.




You can read my review of Hexagram at the bottom of the page.


You can buy Hexagram or indeed any of Duncan’s books here:




CONFESSIONS REVIEWS DUNCAN P BRADSHAW





Hexagram


Part-Time Author/Full-Time Loon.

One day upon waking, as if from some frightful nightmare, I sat at my laptop and typed out letters, which formed words, slowly they created sentences. People read it and said, that's okay that is, have a biscuit. And I said yes.

I live in Wiltshire, in Southern England with my wife Debbie and our two cats, Rafa and Pepe, they just miaowed a hello at you. Between bouts of prolonged washing up and bungie cord knitting, I type out the weird and wonderful things that run around my head.

My debut novel, zom-com Class Three, was released in November 2014, the first book in the follow up trilogy, Class Four: Those Who Survive is out in July 2015. I'm then going to try and get some novellas released which are on something other than the undead.

And for more about Duncan, visit his site or find him on social media:

GUEST POST: Confessions of my Past, Present and Future #40 - Duncan P Bradshaw


Confessions of my Past, Present and Future

by

Duncan P Bradshaw


The Past


My brother and I were always encouraged to read when we were kids. My brother was an avid Mrs Pepperpot fan, amongst other things, and our parents had a suitably imposing bookcase which was built into the wall between living and dining rooms.

Personally though, I loved Roald Dahl, and any time he had anything out, I snapped it up. The stories are just perfect for kids. Over the top, funny, yet with a hint of disgustingness tucked away to put a smile on my freckly face. I loved all of them, but amongst my favourites were George’s Marvellous Medicine, which encouraged me and Stuart to scour the house whilst on summer holidays, concocting the foulest liquids known to man. Obviously, we didn’t drink it, but two boys, left to their own devices, are going to do stupid things.

Looking back, I’d have to say that The Twits is my all-time favourite Dahl title. The story is pretty by the numbers, but the characters are so wonderfully vile and repugnant. I think as well, that the illustrations by Quentin Blake, both on the cover, and inside, were as big a pull as the stories themselves.  They just fit the words so well, and helped to add to the feeling that you really were a part of the book.

Whilst I enjoyed many other books, the Truckers series by Terry Pratchett for instance, or Adrian Mole, the Dahl books will always hold a special place in my heart. When I decided to write books myself, I think the layout of illustrations mixed in with the words has rubbed off. A book is more than just words printed down onto paper. It should convey what the writer is trying to get across. Sometimes, little pictures, or different fonts, can help to get that message across.

Every time I got a new Roald Dahl book, it was an experience. I want people who pick up the physical copies of my books to get that same feeling too. A world of wonder, of things which are out of place, yet fit within the narrative. Plus, little details which help add to that sense that reading is something to be savoured, talked about, and above all, enjoyed.

I think that when you’re younger, your imagination has yet to be dulled by the reality of work, bills and the mundanity of existence. So books like these, just fuel your internal sense of wonder at things which to us now seem impossible, but back then, were alive.

This is also true from the Fighting Fantasy books. We were a family of gamers, my mum in particular loved the old text adventures, making huge maps of the games on reams of graph paper. Naturally, we only had one Spectrum for a few years, so the choose-your-own adventure books were an excellent filler for when it wasn’t your turn.

Deathtrap Dungeon was a standout title. Going through it with fingers tucked into past pages, on the off-chance of meeting a quick death, the sense that you were the hero, in a world laid out on the page, but brought to life in your head, was pretty cool. Got to admit that those days, before the teenage funk set in, were the halcyon days of reading for me.




DUNCAN'S ACTUAL COPY



The Present


What about now? Well, seems a suitable place to confess this, but horror was never my genre of choice if I’m being honest. Sure, I’ve read the odd King or Barker book, but if it wasn’t for my love of zombies, I would never have written anything within the genre. I suppose I consider real life a far more horrific canvas than people’s imaginations, but being a part of this scene, and reading what is out there, I do at least enjoy it now.

I genuinely believe that the indie horror scene at the moment is something to behold. This year in particular, has seen so many excellent releases. There are all manner of writers out there, scribbling away and releasing such a wide variety of genre fiction. You’ve got the extreme end of the scale, where Matt Shaw stalks in the shadows, along with Owain-Hughes, Lennon, Bray and Hickman. I can’t say I’m too fussed with it, but having read their work, you can’t deny that for readers who love their horror on the WTF side of things, they cater to those needs, and then some.

There are local authors galore, reading Rich Hawkins’ excellent The Last Plague, with some of the action being set in the city I was born, and lived in (Salisbury), really helped paint the picture. My Sinister Horror Company buddies have their own voice and style, and are building up their own audiences. I’m not going to list people ad infinitum, for the simple fact that I’m going to miss someone out and they’ll give me the hump, but rest assured that things are healthy.

For me, I like a bit of a chuckle when it comes to reading, and with Adam Millard, you can guarantee that in spades. For one, the guy cannot do enough for people, but he is also ridiculously prolific. Reading Vinyl Destination whilst on holiday last year made me laugh out loud so many times, people around me must’ve thought I had escaped the looney bin.

I have also come to love and appreciate the bizarro community. Having dipped my toe into the water with my own novella, there are just so many excellent reads out there, which really need to be shared and enjoyed by people. Help! A Bear Is Eating Me, by Mykle Hansen is absolutely hilarious, you should just go onto Amazon now, and buy it. Plus, my book of 2016 so far, is Berzerkoids by MP Johnson. This is part horror, part bizarro, but one hundred percent amazing. There is a story in there called Ex-Punk, and it is probably the best short story I have read in a very long time.

I think that is the thing. Yes, with the ability to self-publish, there is a LOT of guff out there, but this has enabled talented people to get books out, which otherwise would never have seen the light of day. People are finding their voice, and releasing books which are genuinely different and challenging.

That is what writing is about. Books are there to entertain, to challenge, to repulse and make you laugh. Whatever reason you read for, there is so much choice now. Take a punt on an author you’ve heard things about, but never purchased, send them a post on social media and tell them what you thought of their work. Readers have never had the luxury before of being able to converse with their literary heroes. Believe me, there is nothing cooler than someone saying how much they enjoyed your book, or giving feedback on things they felt didn’t work. Do it.





The Future


The future then, what’s gonna happen? To be honest, I’m not sure. Things are always cyclical, so there will come a point where the current wave of horror will peak, and then start to come down. Whether that’s down to people doing different things, or another genre being feted, I don’t know. The key will be what technological advances are made. People will always want to read, just who can say what will come out in the next twenty odd years that will enhance this hobby, or hamstring the creators who are trying to get their stories and art into the hands of people?

I know for sure that I’ll still be writing, will it be horror, bizarro, romance, circus cookbooks? Who knows?

I’ve kinda made a pact with myself that I’m going to get to the end of 2017, and take stock of what I’ve done. It’s important I think to do that once in a while, reflect on what worked well, what didn’t, and the actual act of getting it done. Plus, by the end of next year, I’ll have a decent body of work behind me, and will have a good feeling of what I want to focus on.

I enjoy writing things which make people laugh, there’s nothing greater to be honest. Though as a writer, I don’t get to see which of my jokes land, and which ones don’t. I just find it easier to write silly things than be too serious about stuff. I’m writing a book at the moment called Summoned, and it is the most ridiculous thing I’ve written so far. But it has been the most fun, and the words simply pour out of me.

Ultimately, I write because I enjoy it. I think I manage to come up with some ideas for books, which are a little different to other things that are out there. I am not a literary giant, or proposing deep and meaningful thoughts. I am just a storyteller. So whatever I do, it’ll be about making sure that I’m busy, and that if there is anyone who enjoys what I do, that they have a regular supply of the random thoughts that go through my brain.

One thing is for sure, I’ll still be reading books from people that I enjoy, and taking a chance on people I’ve never heard of, if the idea sounds cool. That’s what reading is to me, it’s about enjoyment. I want to read books which are different, and not rehashes. I get bored easily, and I want to read something which grabs me, and is as exciting now, as Roald Dahl’s books were to me all those years ago.

I do wonder what the 39-year-old me would think of the books I loved as a kid. Do you know what? I reckon it’s about time I dusted down my copy of The Twits, and see if the things I loved then, are still evident today. Honestly? I’d be surprised if they were, but I’m looking forward to giving it another re-read.





You can read my review of Hexagram below.


You can buy Hexagramhere:




You can buy any of Duncan’s other books here:




If you would like to help support Confessions of a Reviewer, then please consider using the links below to buy any of the books mentioned in this feature. This not only supports me but also lets me know how many people actually like to buy books after reading my reviews.

Thanks.




CONFESSIONS REVIEWS DUNCAN P BRADSHAW





Hexagram


Part-Time Author/Full-Time Loon.

One day upon waking, as if from some frightful nightmare, I sat at my laptop and typed out letters, which formed words, slowly they created sentences. People read it and said, that's okay that is, have a biscuit. And I said yes.

I live in Wiltshire, in Southern England with my wife Debbie and our two cats, Rafa and Pepe, they just miaowed a hello at you. Between bouts of prolonged washing up and bungie cord knitting, I type out the weird and wonderful things that run around my head.

My debut novel, zom-com Class Three, was released in November 2014, the first book in the follow up trilogy, Class Four: Those Who Survive is out in July 2015. I'm then going to try and get some novellas released which are on something other than the undead.

And for more about Duncan, visit his site or find him on social media:

REVIEW: Duncan P Bradshaw - Hexagram

Genre: Horror
Publisher: Eyecue Productions / SHC
Publication Date: 25th July 2016
Pages: 324

REVIEWED BY NEV

A copy of Hexagramwas sent to Confessions of a Reviewer by the author, Duncan P Bradshaw, in exchange for an honest review. This is said review. This book is published by the Eyecue Productions / The Sinister Horror Company.

Duncan P Bradshaw is a fella who writes stuff that always mesmerises me, but each book does this for a completely different reason. I have been lucky enough to read everything he has put out for human consumption. You can find links for all my other reviews of his stuff at the bottom of this review.

This one has been on the radar for a while so I was delighted to get a copy for review. I knew it was coming but I knew nothing about it and went at it totally blind. This one is put together in a unique and interesting way that will have a lot of people scratching their heads to begin with but begging for more by the end.

This is what I thought.

The story starts in 1538. A group of mysterious Inca’s are preparing for the ritual to end all rituals. No one is sure if it will even work. No one is sure what the outcome will be for all involved. They know what they would like it to be.

The conquistadors are hell bent on stopping the ritual and when they do, this sets a series of events in motion that spans over five hundred years, in countries all over the world. Many different people try many different methods to finish the ritual.

Does anyone actually realise that when the ritual is complete, it could be not only the end for themselves, but all of mankind?

This is a tricky book to review. Not because of any real negative reason but because of how it is structured. It reads as a novel following the many attempts at completing the ritual over many hundreds of years, but also has six very distinct stories within it, all set in different eras through time, with different characters being consumed by the draw of the ritual and what it could mean when completed.

To that end, giving you the low down on the individual characters is quite a mammoth task and to be honest, not one I really want to do because this is the sort of story that you need to grow with the characters for the little time that you know them.

We have the Incas in 1538. The originators of the ritual and all that it means. Determined to fulfil what they need to do but always seemingly doomed to failure. In 1716 we have a group of sailors, shipwrecked and running for their lives from the natives, all while one of them discovers the secrets of the ritual and again tries to fulfil it. This section is his story. In 1864 we have a group of religious people being the latest to discover the mysterious script and, again, they do everything they can to complete what no one has before. In 1888 we travel to England to listen to the story of a police detective as he tries to decipher many clues to discover the origins, and ultimately the destination that the ritual predicts. 1981 takes us to the Bahamas and a self-proclaimed religious leader, using devious ways to try and fulfil what he knows about the ritual. Finally, we arrive in the present day to follow the story of a meek and mild young woman who may finally be able to pull all the clues together, but still has no clue as to what she is actually doing.

You may have gathered the plot by now. There is an ancient ritual to be completed that does…….something. No one but the Incas are ever exactly sure what it is they are trying to do. No one realises just how dangerous their quest is. No one knows that success may actually result in the destruction of mankind.

The writing? Well, it’s Duncan Bradshaw that has written it so you know it’s going to be good. It always strikes me as sad in a way that writers like Duncan can’t just jump up on a big stage and shout “here I am” and instantly get all the praise they deserve in the writing world. His writing is sublime. Every story you read is totally different. I finished Prime Directive about a week ago. Totally different story in so many ways but it still has the beautifully paced, perfectly put together story that, as I said earlier, mesmerises you from start to finish.

Things to note in this one; each story is set in a very distinct period in time, in locations all over the world. For this you need different accents, a totally different use of language from the previous part so that you get the true feeling and atmosphere of the place you are now in. This is done perfectly. As you read, you are almost adding in the little inflections in the voices and to be able to make you do this is a wonderful talent. The scenes in 1888 were my favourites without doubt. I love the old Victorian style writing and this section was very reminiscent of William Hope Hodgson’s Carnacki, in the style in which it was written. It was perfect.

To be able to give you the definite distinction between the worlds in a novel is not easy. This one needed to be written in such a way that it seemed as if you were reading a collection of stories whilst being fluid enough to be recognised as a novel as well. It achieved both extremely well for me.

In terms of the horror side of things? It could be scarier in that respect. Once you get into the meat of the story and understand what is happening, the concept of what the people are trying to achieve is scary as hell. Nothing scarier in fact. For me I would have liked more fear. Duncan Bradshaw has shown in the past that he is a master of building tension and fear and having you squirming in your seat and genuinely panicking. I didn’t feel that so much with this one.

If you want blood and guts, then this is the baby for you. There is more than one scene in this one that will test your gag reflex to the max and make sure that you grab hold of various parts of your body to make sure they are still there. Mr Bradshaw is a sick puppy.

To summarise: a novel following various groups of people as they all try and achieve one goal across many centuries. A scary concept that could have delivered more for me on the horror front but makes up for that with the blood and literal guts. Either way, it’s Duncan P Bradshaw. You need to read it.


General rating:

★★★★ nearly perfect.

Horror rating:

★★★.5 needed more of the scary stuff.


If you would like to help support Confessions of a Reviewer, then please consider using the links below to buy Hexagram or any other books from Duncan. This not only supports me but also lets me know how many people actually like to buy books after reading my reviews.

Thanks.




Book Synopsis:

We are all made of stars.

When an ancient Inca ritual is interrupted, it sets in motion a series of events that will echo through five hundred years of human history. Many seek to use the arcane knowledge for their own ends, from a survivor of a shipwreck, through to a suicide cult.

Yet...the most unlikeliest of them all will succeed.


CONFESSIONS REVIEWS DUNCAN P BRADSHAW






Part-Time Author/Full-Time Loon.

One day upon waking, as if from some frightful nightmare, I sat at my laptop and typed out letters, which formed words, slowly they created sentences. People read it and said, that's okay that is, have a biscuit. And I said yes.

I live in Wiltshire, in Southern England with my wife Debbie and our two cats, Rafa and Pepe, they just miaowed a hello at you. Between bouts of prolonged washing up and bungie cord knitting, I type out the weird and wonderful things that run around my head.

My debut novel, zom-com Class Three, was released in November 2014, the first book in the follow up trilogy, Class Four: Those Who Survive is out in July 2015. I'm then going to try and get some novellas released which are on something other than the undead.

And for more about Duncan, visit his site or find him on social media:

INTERVIEW: DUNCAN P BRADSHAW - PART THREE

Welcome to an historic moment! PART THREE of Confessions’ interview with Duncan Bradshaw. Yes, the man is so interesting and funny that we had to give him a third night!

In tonight’s section you will learn all about the hopes and dreams of Duncan P Bradshaw, and watch and cringe as he takes on The Ten Confessions.

It’s Thursday, the unofficial start of the weekend. You deserve a treat. Go get a Chinese and a couple of beers, and sit back, and most of all…..enjoy!




CoaR - Writing or being the big boss man publisher? Which is better?

DPB - At the moment, I am focussing solely on my writing. I’m not a goal orientated person in the slightest, but at the start of this year, I said to myself that by year end, I wanted five books in total, to be released. Happy to say that target will be met by July. I got into this because I enjoy writing, not because I like dealing with the rigmarole of publishing other people’s books.

There are always exceptions though, GodBomb! for example. As soon as I read that premise, I wanted to be the person to help get that out there. I’ve read a few submissions since, and whilst they’ve been good, none have grabbed me like GodBomb! did.

Got to appreciate how much work goes into releasing your own material, to then do it for something which isn’t yours, you have to really want to do it. I now approach it like this: if I read a synopsis or excerpt from something, and it doesn’t grab me by the balls, the same way Mr Power did (metaphorically speaking), then it won’t be for me.

I need to be WOWed. If I am going to spend time, which would normally be set aside for my own writing, to publish another person’s book, I have to adore it. It is all about the story for me, not the name, or reputation. If you contact me with an idea, it needs to be something amazing. I have an exceptionally low boredom threshold, if the premise or idea doesn’t get me going, then it’ll be a no.


CoaR - What’s the most difficult part of writing for you?

DPB - I was quite lucky with my first few books, in that they didn’t need much rewriting. With Prime Directive, Hexagram, and now Deadlock, I’ve had to get back in the trenches with it, and give it a good kick in.

It’s annoying, because, okay, let’s take Prime Directive. As soon as I finished it, I knew there were two things wrong with it. By then though, I’d gone back to Deadlock, and finished up the first draft. So now, I’ve got to get out of that mind-set, stick on my Prime Directive hat, and get back into that flow again. I liken it to merging with traffic on a motorway. You’ve been there, chugging along at a steady fifty miles per hour on an A-road, now though, you’ve left behind Deadlock-land, and need to get back onto Prime Directivehighway. That little bastard is going along at a faster clip, so you’ve got to make all sorts of mental changes, to get back into it again.

Once that is done, I need to come off that highway, where I’ve been motoring along, and need to slow down for Deadlock again. It just takes a few days to get back into the style of writing, the method, the entire reasoning as to why you wrote the bloody thing in the first place. Then you start seeing what happens when you’re a pantser. Exposition is explained multiple times, in slightly different ways. One set of creatures is a different colour. Hang on, didn’t that guy only have one arm? Why, by the fiery bunting of Antioch does he now have two?

Hey, it’s my own fault, and believe me, I’d love to be able to plan it all out, but it just isn’t me. So I’m going to have to just get on and make the best of it.


CoaR - What would your ultimate wish be with your writing?

DPB - The impossible dream? Same as most writers, to be able to support myself solely through my writing. That’s it. I know my limitations, I’m not going to win awards, or be lauded for literary genius, I’m just a simple storyteller. I like to think that my books are a little different, and that they’re about quirky things, and that probably appeals to as many people as it would turn off. But yeah, if at some point in time, I can quit my day job, and survive off my writing, I would be ecstatic.




CoaR - What do you like to do when you’re not writing?

DPB - It’s weird being asked that question these days, as most of my free time is doing writer-things. If it isn’t actually writing, it’s editing, doing cool stuff like this, or sorting out a new cover. Then there are things to do for the SHC, sort out conventions, make sure stock is ordered, sort out the website, get stuff across to Justin for the newsletter. It really is all consuming.

One thing I learned though, is that you have to take time out. I enjoy playing video games, so sneak in a bit of GTA when I can. I really enjoy reading, so always take a book to work so I can read at lunch. Quite partial to the odd beer or two, seeing my family and friends. I also want to make sure I see a bit more of the world, and experience things that I’ve wanted to, but never gotten round to, so am trying to do as much of that as time, and money, allows.


CoaR - Is there any video evidence of you doing your “sexy dance”?

DPB - I doubt it...though I did get reminded by some friends that last New Year’s I apparently gave the wife a lap dance in the middle of a living room, surrounded by people. What can I say? I’m a firm believer in this; we get one go at life, no do overs, no regrets. If I’m lucky enough to wake up that morning, I’m going to live my life the only way I know how. Then I’ll go to sleep that evening, and see if I get to do it all again the morning after. Life is too short to not do things, regardless of whether it’s learning how to tame lions, or give your wife a lap dance to Bohemian Rhapsody.


CoaR - What’s coming in the future from Duncan P Bradshaw?

DPB - With Hexagramout of the way, my next release was going to be Deadlock. It’s about a retired thief, who gets pulled back for one last job, but ends up in Hell. He has to go through trials, and a mysterious place, to get the prize he was promised. Though whilst I am happy with vast parts of it, there is something not quite right with it at the moment. It’s going to go on the back burner for a bit until I’m able to work out how to get it working.

Right now, I’m working on a book called Summoned, which is going to be my peak of utter ridiculousness. It spawned from an idea of a world-ending monster being summoned by accident. It’s got multiple narratives, a mini-comic, a choose your own adventure in it, and rammed with my silliness. Hoping this will be ready early next year.

Next year is my turn to curate the Black Room Manuscripts too, so I’ll be working on getting that done. Finally…I am going to finish off the Class Four trilogy. Then, who knows? I’ve got a few projects buzzing around my head, so will take my pick of them and see where it takes me.





THE TEN CONFESSIONS


1 Who would you view as your main competitor in the writing world?

J.R. Park, that dude has been following me around now for twenty odd years, stealing my best lines, giving it the big ‘un. One of these days, I swear, I’m gonna turn him into a malfunctioning toaster, see how he likes it.


2 What book or author have you read that you think should never have been published?

There are very few books I read that I think are an utter pile of shit, mainly because I have the luxury of being able to choose what I read. Even if I thought a book should be wiped from an existence, there is bound to be someone out there for whom it means the world.


3 Are any of the things your characters have experienced in your books been based on something that has actually happened to you? What was it?

This one time...in the zombie apocalypse, man, I was wired. I’d been awake for three straight weeks, living off spoiled cream cheese and baby wipes. In my bacteria fuelled haze, I witnessed many of the events that would go into Class Three. I’d love to be specific and say what they were, but screw that, if people want to know, best go and buy the book, see for themselves.


4 Have you ever blatantly stolen an idea or scene and adapted it for one of your own books? If so, care to share?

Not to my knowledge. The bit at the end of Class Three with the ‘super-zombies’, was written just before something similar happened in The Walking Dead TV series. I remember thinking that people are going to think I blagged it, when I’d actually written it already.


5 Have you ever anonymously left a bad review for someone else’s book? If so, care to share?

Nope, I’ve only left one bad review, for Max Brooks’ Closure Limited, which was an absolute load of bollocks. It’s the only negative Amazon review I’ve left. If I didn’t like a book, I’d say, I’m not able to keep my gob shut about those sorts of things.


6 What’s the one thing you are least proud of doing in your life and why?

I can be a little impulsive at times, and as I mentioned before, tend to engage mouth before brain. There have been times where I’ve said things to people which have been based more on the moment I was in, rather than being a considered response to a situation. Sometimes, afterwards, I think it was fair enough, but there have been times that I knew I went too far.

I tend to go off my emotions a lot, and whilst I have learnt how to suppress some of that initial RAWR, it does still come out from time to time. I’m lucky that a few of the people I’ve known the longest in my life know this, and are able to acknowledge it. Plus they get to call me a complete dickhead afterwards, without me offering to introduce their head to the interior of their sphincter.


7 What’s the one thing you are MOST proud of doing in your life and why?

I’m a sentimental, soppy sod, so there are a few things to choose from. Though I’m going to settle on the last individual Beef Wellington I made. Seriously the mushroom duxelle was on point, the choice of Wiltshire ham was a masterstroke, and the few dashes of Worcester sauce on the steak as I seared it, was utterly inspired. It was bloody lovely.


8 What’s your biggest fault?

I can be a little...sure of myself at times. Not a bad thing you’d probably say, but this can spill out to a degree of bullheadedness (totally a word, I put -ness on the end) where I refuse to listen to what people are saying. In the main, I’m more than happy to consider other people’s viewpoints, on certain things though...no. Never.


9 What is your biggest fear?

I have but two fears in this world, the first is vast expanses of water. When I was five, I hated swimming, the notion that I’d drown was all consuming. After leaving my kit on the bus, only to have it returned to me, as my mum had sewn my name on the towel, I decided to up my game. Next day, I handed my teacher a note, scrawled in orange felt pen, which read:


Dear teacher

Duncan can not go swimming today as he is poorly.

Love

Mummy


Suffice to say, it didn’t work, and I had to go swimming, whilst screaming at the same time.

My second fear is that I will go to the cupboard to get a biscuit with my cup of tea, and the cupboard will be bare. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


10 If you had to go to confession now, what would be the one thing you would need to get off your chest?

My dreams consist of trying to get to a platform on time to catch a train, and then having to find the toilet. I have no idea what either means, but it would be nice to have a dream without worrying that I’m going to piss myself.



Well, unfortunately that’s it for the interview. I’m sure you will agree that this one has been a journey of enlightenment and humour and an absolute pleasure to read as it was an absolute pleasure for me to do.

I would like to personally thank Duncan for his time and help in putting this together. We have planned this for a while now and it is so rewarding to see it actually up here for you to read.

Please remember to come back tomorrow night where I will have the Confessions review of Duncan’s new book, Hexagram and will include all the links you need to pick it up.

Also don’t forget to watch out for Duncan’s Past, Present and Future post on Sunday. On Monday I will be sharing exactly what you can expect to get when you pick Hexagramup for yourself.

Thanks again for visiting Confessions of a Reviewer!


CONFESSIONS REVIEWS DUNCAN P BRADSHAW






Part-Time Author/Full-Time Loon.

One day upon waking, as if from some frightful nightmare, I sat at my laptop and typed out letters, which formed words, slowly they created sentences. People read it and said, that's okay that is, have a biscuit. And I said yes.

I live in Wiltshire, in Southern England with my wife Debbie and our two cats, Rafa and Pepe, they just miaowed a hello at you. Between bouts of prolonged washing up and bungie cord knitting, I type out the weird and wonderful things that run around my head.

My debut novel, zom-com Class Three, was released in November 2014, the first book in the follow up trilogy, Class Four: Those Who Survive is out in July 2015. I'm then going to try and get some novellas released which are on something other than the undead.

And for more about Duncan, visit his site or find him on social media: